What constitutes snail's pace?

I'll be surprised if you haven't been wondering whether I had given up blogging? I know that I have been wondering if I had given up blogging! 

I guess I haven't given up blogging, despite us both wondering if I'd given up blogging. After all, surely, if I had given up blogging, I wouldn't be here now writing this pithy introduction to what appears to be the kernel of another blog update. It therefore makes complete sense to me, even if it doesn't to you, that I have, at least for the time being, not given up blogging.

And so, as I haven't given up blogging, at least for the time being, I'd better find a way of making at start on another 'not given up blogging' update! 

Ah yes! I know - Twinkie and Sam, the Metallic Leaf Beetles, were having a game of leapfrog, when Sam, quite accidentally, failed to jump high enough to leap right over Twinkie...

Sam, being the gentleman that he is, apologised profusely. But Twinkie, being the liberal minded, sweet lady that she is, told him that apologies weren't necessary.

 

She only wished that he'd removed the gun from his holster that he'd fastened to his belt when they were playing cowboys and Indians earlier - she was sure she could feel it digging into her!

Meanwhile, Will Carling, the famous Harlequin, was bulking-up on crispy hash browns...

Probably not!

As Jermaine Jackson once said (well, sung actually) Let's Get Serious...

Here's a Green Shield stamp...

Oooops! I meant Green Shield Bug...

And here is the very rare 'Green Shield Stamp Bug!

How dare you !  Of course it's a real bug!

I hope this isn't all too exciting for you, it moves along at breakneck speed doesn't it; let's slow things down to a snail's pace shall we...

Just what is a snail's pace anyway? Well, doctor Google says: Snails move at a pace of 0.029 miles per hour, or 153 ft per hour. If we convert that to human speed, that's the equivalent of walking about 2 miles per hour. Okay, so I need to speed up some then! I walk so slowly that my shadow often overtakes me. 

I wonder if anyone would mind if I slipped in a couple of spider photos here?

Too bad, they're coming anyway...

I think this first tiny spider is 'Araniella' species. There is a really rare one which is found at a few sites in my part of the world, which does look very similar to this one, but I doubt that's what I have found. 

The second one (below) may well be 'Metellina' species. Of course, it may not! If that's the case, then it probably isn't! 

What's next then?

I dunno, you're writing this JJ...you tell me?

Okay, well, the logical thing to do after sharing these scary (not) spider pics, would be to share something that could be considered the antithesis of these....scary (not) spider pics? 

I'm all for convention, (I'm not actually, but for the sake of continuity, we'll pretend that I am) let's do that...

'Lacewing after rain' is what I am calling this image.

I called it lacewing after rain, because it's a photograph of a lacewing that I took, after rain! Cunning eh? There are no flies (or lacewings) on me!

Yes my friend. What follows I can say with absolute certainty, you will never have witnessed before. Oh you may have seen more than your share of oddities over the years, but c'mon...have you EVER seen a weevil that laughed so much it fell over? Be honest...

Thought not. Another first for JJ's blog.

Here's a more sensible photo that I took of another nut weevil...

I think it's probably time for me to rest my brain again now. It really isn't used to all this activity. I'll leave you with a photograph of what I thought when I was taking the shot, was a midge, or mosquito, but now think is a species of crane fly...

It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht

As it's almost Christmas, a time for fun and frolics, I shall begin this update with 30 seconds of funny British TV advertising from the 1990s (you'll need your sound on for this)...

This video will not appear in the emailed version of my update. You need to view online blog in web browser

I of course, being slightly older than Methuselah, recall the original tune which went like this: Lord Rockingham's XI – Hoots Mon Lyrics: Hoots mon, there's a moose, loose, aboot this hoose...

But as any true Scot, and even most Sananachs could tell you, moose in this instance, does not refer to the North American Elk, but to a tiny rodent...

I can even give you the scientific name and a brief description of the species I want to talk about: Mus musculus: Characteristically having a pointed snout, large rounded ears, and a long and hairy tail. What do you mean it sounds like a description of me - I don't have a long and hairy tail!

EDIT: I now believe these to be Field/Wood mice rather than house mice. 

So what's this all about with the 'Moose, loose' thing then JJ? 

Well I'm afraid I have had to evict a moose from my hoose - yes, it was keeping me awake at night with its nocturnal shenanigans in the loft. Not just one actually, not even two, but three...thus far!

I did use a humane trap though and have now safely re-located them away from the house. All I need to do now is to check tonight for more, and then start the search for where they are entering the house, to prevent a repeat performance.

Cute little buggers though...

I must admit to being slightly puzzled as to how they managed to bring all of that loft insulation into the trap though. Impossible all at once, therefore they must have made several journeys. If they did that, managed to get in and out of the trap, why were they still there when I found them? 

Oh well, it's not the only thing that puzzles me in life: I have lots of 'why is' questions that remain unanswered. Look what happens if you Google that phrase:

Moving along then: there isn't too much left of this year and I do intend to publish this update before December is out                        . (apologies for the full-stop being right over here - my period was late!)

Once again this year I have been finding quite a few springtails in the back garden. December is a good month for them and they can even withstand the cold, so can be spotted on frosty days too. 

Unfortunately I have failed to spot any of the spectacular 'Katianna' species that I was finding 5 years ago. They look like this...

I shall carry on searching though: I reckon they are like my brain cells, I know they are there somewhere! "In the wardrobe of my soul, in the section labelled shirts" perhaps? (Thanks Viv.)

Speaking (or writing anyhow) about brain cells: do you know what a 'Haiku' is?

Wiki says: Haiku is a very short form of Japanese poetry in three sentences going in the order 5 syllables 7 syllables and then 5 again.

Not sure what syllables are? Here's a simple explanation (not!)

How do you count syllables?

Count the number of vowels (A, E, I, O, U) in the word.

1. Subtract 1 for each diphthong or triphthong in the word.
2. Does the word end with "le" or "les?" Add 1 only if the letter before the "le" is a consonant.
3. The number you get is the number of syllables in your word.

To (miss)quote Ronald Reagan: "I'm buggered if I know." Luckily there is a website that will generate a Haiku for you; here's mine...

Springtail - A Haiku

by JJ

Garden wintertime

before tiny springtail jumps

above the purple

There, and not a dippy/trippy thong in sight!

____________________________________

Shall we return to the subject at hand? I think we should. You are not going to believe the caterpillar I found the other day in the orchard behind my house...

You're not going to believe it are you? Good, because I was only dreaming.

I did actually find a caterpillar, but it was dull as dishwater by comparison...

Not a great photo either, right. My flash misbehaved that day and would only work on full power. But still, great to see a caterpillar of any kind this late in the year. It looks like it was preparing to pupate.

Yes, if you don't like our eight-legged friends then I suggest you skip this part. Treat yourself to a mince pie and a glass of mulled wine and come back further down the page. 

Spider is just here

Yes, this little one turned up in the house the other day (which is the 'other' day?) and I thought it was possibly Lathys species: however, ace spider man Tylan Berry kindly informed me that it is actually a young Amaurobius species.

It wasn't the only thing looking to find a nice warm winter home either. This lacewing was also in the house. Sadly it seems to have a damaged wing and so I re-sited it in my studio in the garden, where it should be fine until spring...

I think that's about enough for now, for this year in fact. I just want to thank all of you who have been kind enough to support my blog through yet another year. I know most of you no longer have the time to comment, but can see from my stats that the blog is well read in many countries.

I'll leave you with what was the only Monarch butterfly I saw whilst in America recently; even then, I was not lucky enough to get close to it - at least, not as close as I would have liked...