You might die laughing...

"Where do I begin? To tell the story of..." (or) "Let's start at the very beginning a very good place to start..."

Yay! Two song lyrics and I haven't even got going in Ernest (as the cupcake said to the pansy). Did I really type that? Sometimes I have no control over my finger (you don't think I can use more than one to bring this to you?) and I have no chance of reaching 50 wpm. Hell, I don't even know what it stands for (as the cupcake said to the...Oops! Better get on with the plot...

The INDEPENDENT

What? The newspaper established in 1986 with a slightly liberal, left of centre bias. Here's what I found on a website called something like 'Media Fact-checker'-They often publish factual information that utilizes loaded words (wording that attempts to influence an audience by using appeal to emotion or stereotypes) to favor liberal causes.  These sources are generally trustworthy for information, but may require further investigation.

Factual Reporting: HIGH

Maybe so, but do they really need to use tabloid headliners like this?

Grrrr, it gets my goat, really it does! And I need my goat, who else will listen to me ranting about these things with blind indifference? And after all, she is my nanny. Would you like, at this point to see a picture that I took of a horsefly? Of course you would, why am I even bothering to ask, you crave one right? Well to misquote Buddy Holly, no need to 'crave-on'...

'. 

'Cool Daddy, cool' 

I hope you are keeping count of these lyrics; I found those last ones somewhere only we know. About the horseflies then, as per usual, the headlines don't reflect the facts, which are revealed...eventually:'Risks are greatest for people with a weakened immune system and if the drugs don’t work (Me: Gee thanks, you included a lyric especially for me) then minor cuts could rapidly become serious.'

'The effects of an infected horsefly bite can include a raised and nasty rash, dizziness, shortage of breath, and weak and swollen limbs.'

Yeah, and then you die a long and lingering death, during which, your knee-caps drop off and you swallow your own tongue, which tickles you to death...from the inside! 

Movin' on up...

The little plant bug that you see in this photograph is the latest addition to a long list of invertebrates that I have discovered in my equally little garden. It belongs in the Miridae family, and is called 'Deraeocoris ruber'. It feeds on other small insects and can be found on a range of plants: I regularly see it on nettle. I don't recall the name of the pink and white plant in this photo, but I shall call it Ruby...Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.

Here's something else I found on nettle, not in the garden I hasten to add... 

I failed to find an ID for this one in my moth book, and so I looked out the booklet called 'Insects on nettles'...

Then promptly put it back on the shelf: it was about as much use as an ejector seat in a helicopter! I think it might be one of the Tortrix moths, and possibly the 'Large Fruit-tree Tortrix'. Fame is but a fruit tree? ♫♫♫

I found a couple of Red-legged Shieldbugs the other day. When I say a couple, they were actually coupled...

What interested me about these was that pale spot which tips the scutellum; apparently, those who know about these things say that it varies in colour, from orange to cream. But looking at these two, I wonder if it could be that males have orange, and females cream? Or whichever way around it works, I am assuming the female is the one on the left here.

A shot from underneath one of those bugs

And by way of a comparison, here's what a Green Shieldbug undercarriage looks like...

Palomena prasina - A Green Shieldbug

Yes, they can look very pink at times.

I always check any beech trees that I come across (that's beech, not beach, baby, beach baby) because I live in hope... that's it really; I live in hope! No, I live in hope of finding a lobster moth larva. Never have, but I have found several other interesting caterpillars, like this one...

A Green Silver Lines caterpillar - Pseudoips prasinana

A blog update wouldn't be a blog update without a spider photo now would it? C'mon, it's not as if they are spiders from Mars!

A spider!

Actually, I can do better regards identity than just 'a spider' because I happen to know this one. Yes, she's a personal friend, you might even say she's my best friend? (Let me know if you tire of these lyric references won't you: won't make a jot of difference of course.) 

Yes, this one is 'Araneus quadratus' - A Four-spotted Orb Weaver spider. How can I be sure? ;-) (Yes...ANOTHER lyric) Because I found one a couple of years ago and was able to identify that one. In fact, let me find the photo and share here, because it's a slightly less menacing photograph than the one above. this one will make you fall in love with spiders...

Araneus quadratus

 Didn't work huh? Oh well, I won't give up on trying to convert you, I won't back down. You have the photo anyway, and every picture tells a story.

The first of two questions: Do you know who this guy is?

Roderick James Nugent "Rory" Stewart, OBE, FRSL FRSGS That's who!

Obviously a very learned man: so why does he feel the need to start every sentence with the word 'so'? Is it because he is the government's prison minister and so sentences are just so for him? 

I only mention it because I heard him being interviewed on Radio 4 this morning and when I was running through my mind what I was going to write next, he came to mind, because I was about to start my next sentence with that very word!

So...

I know there has been a lot of, well let's call it frivolity, peppering this update. But now I want to try and expand your horizons just a soupcon, should your horizon be in need of expansion, which I very much doubt. 

So...

Scroll back up the page a tad, until you come to the photo of that caterpillar with the shieldbug right above. But before you do...because you won't be able to read this next bit from there: what is the connection between those two creatures?

You still here!

Oh! You have looked and now you are back, okay. If you said they are both green, then you are kinda right. Look again at their Latin names and you will see that 'Prasina' forms part of both. 'Prasina' from the Latin: Leek green.

I know, I know, I am like a visiting relative who doesn't know when it's time to leave. I'm outta here:  I'll just slip out the back, Jack!