The Curmudgeonly Old Bugger is born...

Before we get into this, I want to apologise dear reader if the text is messy regards some being centred, some ranged etc. Blogger is playing silly buggers again and I have no control!

I am going to be honest and upfront about the fact that this update is going to be something different. You may, or may not like the change, but it's only something I plan to include occasionally and as Coco Chanel once said: “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” - I "should Coco, Coco!" 

The seed for this was planted in a little comment from an old friend on social media recently, who, when I myself commented that I didn't care for something, wrote this..."Yes, but you are just a curmudgeonly old bugger!"

I had to agree, there are things about everyday life that 'get my goat'. So why not create another blog where I could vent all these issues? I soon had second thoughts about that one though - who wants to read a blog where the author just rants! 

As a compromise, I decided I would trial something I am calling a blog within a blog. Here then is update number one of...

 David Attenborough!

Holy crap JJ! You are never going to begin by ripping into a national treasure, surely? Not exactly no. I wouldn't dare. And besides, Sir David has single-handedly done more to make us aware of the natural world and its frailties than any other human I can think of. BUT, take a look at this very short video if you will...

Cute kids asking Sir David questions on BBC Breakfast recently. That's cool. But David...it's what you say in reply that irks me somewhat. Perhaps your memory is failing in your dotage? Or were you just trying to protect youngsters from the facts? You have immense knowledge; you know about spiders. You have one named after you in Australia. You must therefore know that it simply isn't true that "there are no spiders in the UK that will bite you". 

Okay, we can discuss just how many there are, but isn't it incontrovertible that there are some? Let's take a look at some of the evidence shall we. You were appearing on the BBC: here is a piece on spiders from that very organisation...

The tabloid press would have us believe that there are many more biting spiders in the UK...

I think we can put our trust in The Natural History Museum though...

Then there is the much-respected British Arachnological Society view...

And so Sir David, can we agree that whether its three, twelve, or fifteen, there are SOME that can bite! 

Apologies to anyone outside of the UK who probably won't have a clue as to what that normal service picci is all about. See HERE for answer: but not now eh? 

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It can be tricky to know what to blog about at times. Sometimes however, a subject literally drops down from the sky. The following photo might help explain...

That white area is my notepaper where I had been writing down ideas for this update, when suddenly this tiny critter dropped out of the air (ok, so sky was stretching it a bit) and although it was minute, I didn't immediately recognise that a*se! I tried to get a better picture with my kit lens, but couldn't get close enough of course...

Time to get out the macro kit and snap a few more images...

It looks a little similar to this don't you think?

Not really JJ, no. That's a micro-moth isn't it?

Well yes, it is actually, and my little visitor was not a moth.

Trichadenotecnum sexpunctatum. If nothing else it'd use up all of your scrabble letters. I managed a 16-letter word: 'Counterstatement', can you do any better?  Trichadenotecnum sexpunctatum is what I think this could be. I say think because there are several similar ones and I am no expert on Barkflies. I think I am on solid ground by naming it as a Barkfly; but couldn't say for definite which one. Sure is a pretty little beggar compared to most I have seen though. Oh, there was that cool little nymph I found a few years back...

Meanwhile, this cool little juvenile jumping spider appeared in the house recently...

It couldn't have been much more than 3mm at a guess and so not sure of species; Fencepost Jumping Spider perhaps.

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Erm, I want to take a moment here to thank the anonymous person who left such a lovely comment on my last blog update...

Not only was it a joy to receive and read, but unbeknown to the poster of this comment was the fact that it was  the one thousandth comment on my blog!

Just before I get my coat, I teased you with the micro-moth, saying it looked similar to the Psocid (Barkfly) which of course was kinda tenuous really. However, I do have another choice that I would like to substitute, and is more deserving of being labelled as a lookie-likie...

Leaving aside the fact that this particular one is greenish in colour; there are definite similarities. Both have  kind of bug-eyes, both have long antennae and both fold their wings over their backs in a kind of tent fashion.

This is not a Psocid though: rather a Psyllid. Psyllids are known as Jumping Plant-lice. By the way, you may be interested to know that there are two distinct groups of Psocids: species that occur outdoors are known as Barkflies, and those that are only recorded indoors are Booklice.

And so now it really is time to put this update to bed. One final thought, I wonder how this year has been for Damselflies? Locally I have to say, it has been very poor. Sightings are way down. I think these two mating White-legged Damselflies might well be the only ones I photographed this year...

Smells like goat to me?

And have I got some intrigue to share in this update! Have I? Yes, I sure have. You will find that this latest update will be so intriguing that it'll be kicking open the door to your mind with a size nine Doctor Martin boot, rushing in, grabbing your cerebrum with both hands and giving it a good squeeze. 

Not too sensationalist was it? Good. Let's blog then because I can't wait to see what I have to say and share. 

I doubt this photo below will mean much to you, but it does to me...

This is the part that had broken inside of my extreme macro lens, preventing me from using it. However, I finally got around to getting it replaced and now have my lens back. Why am I telling you this? Because it happened to coincide with an upturn in the weather. That combination meant I could once again get out with the camera and do some serious bug hunting. 

And the photograph you can see above this line of text was the very first find I had. So what is it? Intriguing, that's what it is! Looks a bit like a caterpillar right? I actually thought I had found an identity for it; it looked like the larva of a Larder Beetle (Dermestes lardarius). Or perhaps D.ater. 

But...I am not convinced at all. The hairs or setae, seem too short for starters. Then I cannot even decide if the small, up-curved tail hooks called Urogomphi are present....

 I may have to settle for Dermestidae species for now. 

Next up was slightly more scary. I disturbed a hibernating hornet...

It was pretty docile though, being half asleep. I grabbed this shot and returned it to its slumber.

The honey bees were out in force, feeding on the snowdrops that in turn seemed to be enjoying the sunshine. So good to see this early in the year...

                             

This will raise a smile; in fact, so confident am I that you will giggle, I will, to paraphrase Rambling Syd Rumpo...'hang myself by the postern, and nail my moulie to the fence' should I be wrong.  I was out walking when I suddenly felt that my left foot was really uncomfortable inside my walking boot. As I was almost back at the car, I decided to put up with it and take a look upon reaching my vehicle. When I did, I found something rather surprising...        

This is what I  discovered slotted down one side of my boot: it is a memento from a music festival and measures about three inches across! It must have somehow fallen into my boot  from the hall shelf. What is even more amazing is that I wore the very same boots yesterday and didn't even notice it.  Oh well, as the old saying goes: No fence, no ceiling. (Not quite a Spoonerism) you know, like ' A well-boiled icicle' (A well oiled bicycle).

Moving on...

What do you think these two photos depict? Intrigue! That's what they depict. These are Barkflies and there seem to be several generations present? One adult, winged insect and maybe three stages of nymph. 

Straightforward enough you might think; as I did at first. But no, what's puzzling is that the adult is in fact dead. Yet the youngsters were climbing all over it and showed no intent to move away. I have fired off an email to the National Barkfly Recording Scheme, to ask if this is normal behaviour. I will update you should I get an answer.

Edit: The adult insect is actually a Phsyllid and so no relation between species.

Intrigued enough, or would you like to be further intrigued?

Here comes my pièce de résistance then. Yes a real tour de force of intrigue....

Absolutely true. Knock me down with a feather, cover me in apricot jam and call me Susan if this is not a fact. Okay, perhaps I should just clarify, before I get too carried away; it is a fact, if my research has led me to the correct identity.

In defence of my ID skills, I would like the jury to consider the following evidence: Although I could not find an image that exactly matched, albeit I did find similar, but darker examples; all of the other evidence leads me to believe that this is in fact a Goat Moth larva (Cossus cossus).

The adult moth is most frequently found in damp, deciduous woodland (tick). The caterpillars feed amazingly inside the trunks of many deciduous trees, such as willow, oak and ash (tick). Mine was in a rotting oak. They are one of, if not the largest British caterpillar (tick). As you can see this one is already quite a size. They can become quite pale having spent a long time inside a tree (tick).

These must be unique in that, because of the long digestion period required for this food matter, the larvae often live inside the wood for up to five years before pupating.

And the smell of goat? I have to be honest and say that I didn't notice it at all. But....this is the same guy who walked for miles with a brass plate in his boot without noticing. Added to which, I am not sure I even know what a goat smells like.

Got intrigue fatigue yet? Hopefully not..more follows...

This looks very much like another moth larva to me. But this time, the image seems quite a good match, but conversely the habit doesn't. It appeared to be a reasonable match for Dark Arches (Apamea monoglypha) and yet, I can find no mention of this species overwintering under bark, which is how I found this one.

This is what Butterfly Conservation say about it: When the larvae are small they feed on flowers and seeds and when older they feed on roots and stem bases from within a chamber among grass roots where they will overwinter.

Sometimes you don't have to look far at all for bugs...

When I felt something tickling my lower arm/wrist, it turned out to be this Birch Catkin Bug.

The only other larva I found in the past few days was this rather scary looking Cardinal Beetle larva...

You wouldn't want that biting yer bum would you now!

Well I think that is more than enough intrigue for one update don't you. I will say goodbye for now with a couple of pictures of a Woodlouse that I took in the garden. They demonstrate nicely why I was so pleased to get my extreme macro lens back....

The top photo is as close as I could get with my standard macro lens, and the lower shows what the extreme macro lens is capable of.

Postscript: I was just wondering how it was decided that the so called 'Goat Moth' caterpillar actually smelled like goat. Who decided? You can imagine the conversation can't you...

"Erm, Frank...I have a little job for you". Frank says, "Sure, anything to help. What is it?"

"Smell this for me and tell me what it reminds you of - don't worry, it's only a caterpillar!" Frank sniffs an almighty sniff: "Hmmm...I'm getting... hedgehog, erm... no wait, now I'm getting... cow flatulence on a summer's evening in Provence."  

"Any hint of goat Frank?"

Round the twist?

I don't know how many years I have been writing my blog now, but it's a lot. In all that time it is quite possible, even probable, that I have duplicated something in an update. However, I am quite certain that not only have I never included my opening gambit for this update, anywhere else, but also that you will have never seen it anywhere on the internet, or I suspect in real life! Neither have I ever typed the following words until this special moment...

"Ever seen a dead aphid standing on its head, with a large hole in its ar*e?"

Today is your lucky day. stand by to be amazed...

Well, how can I possibly follow that? C'mon! May as well cut and run...

Oh alright then, who could resist such a cute kitty?

Shall we stay with the macabre for the next photo? I found this tiny flea beetle on the Gaillardia in the garden recently...

Longitarsus sp?

It seems to be missing a tibia and tarsus (leg) on the right. Perhaps it had a run in with a wasp or some other nasty predator. Maybe it had just been to fill up with fuel and has an 'arm' missing on the other side? I know it usually costs me an arm and a leg!

Meantime, back in the house, I spotted an equally small jumping spider on the living room wall...

These pics were not taken while it was on the wall by the way.

Yeah, I wondered at first whether this could be a fencepost jumping spider spiderling? I have never seen one and so cannot be sure, but somehow the shape and markings seemed to be about right. After some research though, I think that 'Pseudeuophrys lanigera' which is strongly associated with man, and is one of the few spiders that is characteristic of roofs and walls of buildings could be a much more likely choice?

Do you pick up the autumn leaves and turn them over to see what might be hiding beneath? No, thought not! You should you know: there are surprises unbounded awaiting you if you care to take a moment to study.

I once had a contact on my Flickr photostream who lived in Brazil and she had some amazing finds and photos. She told me that 90% of her finds were from the underneath of leaves. She's gone now, I probably got too weird for her! Anyhow, this next photo is of something that I found by doing just that... 

It's a tiny barkfly nymph.


Something else that I regularly find under fallen leaves is Collembola....

A juvenile Dicyrtomina saundersi Springtail (Collembola)

An adult  Sminthurinus quadrimaculatus

A tiny juvenile Sminthurinus quadrimaculatus

Some of these creatures are so small that they are barely visible to the naked eye...

If you have been reading my monthly articles for the Wealden magazine: it's okay, I know you haven't, so please don't be embarrassed. If you do feel the urge though, they are all on their own page, which you can access from the button at the top of the blog homepage. Maybe, just maybe, there was nothing worth watching on the telly one night, or you had to stay in to wash your hair, or do some grouting, and bored with all that you decided to brighten your evening by catching up with my published articles, then you would know that my latest one was all about craneflies. Phew! Was it worth that just to link into my next picture?

This cranefly was sitting on the patio window one day and so I took the opportunity to photograph it. Two full days later, it was still there, in exactly the same place; so why did I rush getting the photo?

Finally (yes, at last he says the word 'finally') as this has been an update of oddities, I thought I may as well see it through to the bitter end in the same vein. I'll leave you with a photo of something that I have seen before, even featured on my blog before with the hope of getting help with an identity, but it remains a mystery for now...

Is it a pupa? An egg sac? A seed pod? 

Oh yes, before I get my coat: the answer to the mystery object in my previous update is that it is a moth egg. In fact an egg of the Puss moth.